The Ovine Aviation Sketch

 
 
                            Ovine Aviation
 
(A tourist approaches a shepherd.  The sounds of sheep and the 
outdoors are heard.)
 
Tourist: Good afternoon.
Shephrd: Eh, 'tis that.
Tourist: You here on holiday?
Shephrd: Nope, I live 'ere.
Tourist: Oh, good for you.  Uh...those ARE sheep aren't they?
Shephrd: Yeh.
Tourist: Hmm, thought they were.  Only, what are they doing up
         in the trees?
Shephrd: A fair question, and one that in recent weeks 'as 
         been much on my mind.  It's my considered opinion 
         that they're nestin'.
Tourist: Nesting?
Shephrd: Aye.
Tourist: Like birds?
Shephrd: Exactly.  It's my belief that these sheep are 
         laborin' under the misappre'ension that they're 
         birds.  Observe their be'avior.  Take for a start the
         sheeps' tendency to 'op about the field on their 'ind
         legs.  Now witness their attempts to fly from tree to 
         tree.  Notice that they do not so much fly as ... 
         plummet.
 

 
Tourist: Yes, but why do they think they're birds?
Shephrd: Another fair question.  One thing is for sure, the 
         sheep is not a creature of the air.  They have 
         enormous difficulty in the comparatively simple act 
         of perchin'.

         Trouble is, sheep are very dim.  Once they get an 
         idea in their 'eads, there's no shiftin' it.
Tourist: But where did they get the idea?
Shephrd: From Harold.  He's that most dangerous of creatures, 
         a clever sheep.
         'E's realized that a sheep's life consists of 
         standin' around for a few months and then bein' 
         eaten.  And that's a depressing prospect for an 
         ambitious sheep.
Tourist: Well why don't just remove Harold?
Shephrd: Because of the enormous commercial possibilities if 
         'e succeeds.